The problem does not end with the suicide of the person, it haunts all who are attached to him or her, throughout the life

LIFE IS SO BEAUTIFUL – IT IS TO BE LIVED WITH UTMOST HAPPINESS AND ENJOYMENT.

A saying which I had heard a few years back in one of the meetings held on the Annual Day in my son’s school. Yes, how true it is, can’t afford to waste the very essence of life which we can live only once. It is a blessing and boon provided to us by the Almighty, to born as a human being and left to live on this beautiful planet. However many people do not wish to live and commit suicide.  Yes, SUICIDE!!! The dreaded disease that is destabilizing the society in many countries.

Suicide is the severe most heinous act that a human being can perform – so-called crime though not the crime as per law, against self, his or her people and the small society around. It is not the end of the problem he or she had been living with and it is not ‘the solution’. The problem does not end with the suicide of the person, it haunts all who are attached to him or her, throughout the life. The suicide of the near and dear one affects the remaining family members, reduces them to a filth, useless, frustrated, dejected, scared and completely out of gear. Many of them never come back to terms later-on in their lives, thus live a life of deadpan, a non-existing member of the society, confined and reticent.

What are the problems that drive a human being to snatch away own life, let us list them here:

• Failure in Love
• Failure in seeking a healthy score in school/college and thus denied entry into a reputed college
• Inferiority complex and low self-esteem
• Failure to seek an employment
• Severe debt, the financial burden
• A shameful act in the family (infidelity, out-of-caste marriage, a rape convict, constant rubbing and scolding etc.)
• An incurable disease
• Irresponsible life partner (alcoholic and abusing husband, son etc.)
• A rape victim

The list goes on and on, new reasons come up on newspapers, social media, TV etc. almost every day for committing suicide. Suicide is so rampant nowadays that all are totally scared, especially parents of young children. We hear suicide being committed by a boy or girl as young as 8 years old. How come they get the urge to commit such a heinous act? Suicide has become so common a menace in the society that people has got used to it, show no remorse or pity, have become totally insensitive.

Factors such as loss, addictions, childhood trauma or other forms of trauma, depression, serious physical illness, and major life changes can make some people feel overwhelmed and unable to cope. It is important to remember that it isn’t necessarily the nature of the loss or stressor that is as important as the individual’s experience of these things feeling unbearable.

Suicide is the result of actions taken to deal with intolerable mental anguish and pain, fear or despair that overwhelms an individual’s value for living and hope in life. While there is a well-established link between suicide and depression, each suicide occurs in a unique mix of complex interconnected factors, individual, environmental, biological, psychological, social, cultural, historical, political and spiritual, including psychological trauma (both developmental and intergenerational).

Suicide victims might be right in their perspective to commit the most coward act, to escape the problem that drove them to the act. People would say that all those preach against suicide need to think and face the problem from the victim’s point of view, be in their shoes before blaming the suicide victims. All said and done, but still, suicide is such an odious act, it shall not be accepted as the right decision to escape a problem.

At a more personal level, it is important to know that only a small number of suicides happen without warning. Most people who die by suicide give definite warnings of their intentions. Therefore, all threats of self-harm should be taken seriously. In addition, a majority of people who attempt suicide are ambivalent and not entirely intent on dying. Many suicides occur in a period of improvement when the person has the energy and the will to turn despairing thoughts into destructive action. However, a once-suicidal person is not necessarily always at risk: suicidal thoughts may return but they are not permanent and in some people, they may never return.

There is a solution to every problem, small or big, in this world. The only issue is that people shall be ready to accept the solution and move on with their lives. They have a fixed mind, a fixed goal – right or wrong, a fixed notion about certain things, a kind of premonition. Hence it becomes difficult to make such people understand and change their minds. Many of them never ever share their issues with their near and dear ones, thus making their lives more complicated and twisted. Issues come to notice only after the person has committed the monstrous act of taking his or her own life, in the form of a suicide note. Many times, even such a note would not be available and thus it makes more miserable for the near and dear ones, to assess the reason for suicide.

The following are some of the solutions to end this social menace and shall be followed strictly to resolve the ever-growing numbers of suicides:

Communication is very important to resolve any problem. In fact, a continuous and good communication is always handy to prevent suicide, by removing the wrong notion that occupies the sufferer’s mind. Lack of clarity of thoughts and solution push the victim to the jilt, timely and effective communication can always help the person to think positively.

Observation – It becomes the moral responsibility of us to keep watching our near and dear ones, friends, colleagues etc., observe difference in them, their facial expression, their behavior, their attitude, their actions to check whether they are normal or abnormal and accordingly, we need to talk to them and find out the issues. It is possible that some of them may not open up at all, but we cannot leave just at it. We need to approach them in a friendly manner, in a way they accept us and share the issues. It takes time but we need to be patient and our approach shall not in any way, encroach their freedom and put the suffering person in a fix.

Instill Confidence – A suicide victim always lacks confidence in him or her, inferiority complex and low self-esteem stops the brain from thinking positively, and push such people to take the drastic step. Constant failures in life, jeering by the parents and teachers, financial burden etc. are some of the reasons which make such people a low-end entity in the family structure and the society. It is our prime duty to instill confidence in them, make them understand the importance of life, help them use their skills in a more effective way to seek success. It is important to make them understand that failure is the stepping stone for success and that they shall not dwindle seeing failures often. Examples from past and present shall be shared, about how many so-called ‘failed’ people succeeded in lives and became greats. A small support here and there, a grip, a small lift can help make such people cross the barrier and do wonders.

Healthy Family Set-up – a healthy family set-up is very much required to prevent suicide by youngsters. Parents and elders in the family must live a role model for the youngsters – show great love and affection, never neglect them, understand and guide them constantly, help them pursue their desires and goals. A right balance of flexibility and strictness shall be practiced to ensure that children grow well and understand the importance of studies, money, love and affection, relation, etc. Parents shall never ever fight in front of their children – any difference shall be sorted out separately and children shall not know. Parents shall always set-up a good standing example.

Good Friends – Good friends always help to maintain healthy habits, strong relations, instill confidence and keep in the right spirit. Life is always enjoyable in such a bunch of good friends who always help each other grow, be happy and remain around at difficult times. Such friends always help each other elevate their spirits whenever in a bad mood, in financial problems, in the family dispute, love failure, failure in studies, unemployment etc. Life without good people around is always very difficult, totally dark, helpless, sad and frustrating.

LET US HELP THOSE WHO HAVE SUICIDAL THOUGHT – HELP PREVENT SUCH A HEINOUS ACT, TAKING LIFE BY SELF IS A DASTARDLY ACT – NOT THE ULTIMATE SOLUTION. LET US STRIVE TOGETHER TO PREVENT IT AND MAKE THIS SOCIETY A HAPPY AND HEALTHY HABITAT.

---

Janakiraman Subramaniam